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In early 2005, I was still growing in the online game Final Fantasy Eleven. I had learned a lot and though nothing is perfect, I still was ok with most things. I was co-leader of the Devilutionaries linkshell, and our rules were simple. They stopped people from being foolish towards each other. These rules can be found on here. You must be registered to view these rules. These rules were not posted on our forums at first. It was in each Co-Leader's macro set to send to recruits in private chat. If they agree to all the rules, we let them in. Sadly, 80% of the recruits believed that these rules were a joke. This brings me to the great debate about something being so gay. It wasn't even half a year when we started reading on the screen, "That's the gayest shit I've ever heard of." I had no clue of what it meant. After two weeks, most people in the game, let alone the Linkshell, was referring to things as "gay". After thinking it over for 30 minutes, I concluded that they are picking on homosexuals. I didn't like that. It made it unsafe for anyone who might be homosexual, and it was a direct violation of our rules. After some queries, yes, the debate began. For everyone on any side of this, it is not even worth debating. They are sure and pure in what they think. The whole debate is about why it's ok to call things that are disliked, "gay." On one side of the argument, people don't think it's offensive to call anything gay, because they are not picking on homosexuals. They are simply calling something they don't like stupid. Calling something stupid has been around for a long time. In fact, "stupid" is not the only word used to pick on things disliked. There is "lame," "stupid," "weak," "gimpy," "sorry," and more. Those who call things "gay" also argue that it is just a word and it holds no value to the gay community whatsoever. They claim that it's a word given power by people who want it to hold a meaning other than stupid. I remember hearing that about the word, "nigger." Because of their argument, despite how I feel about it, I wanted to be sure of what I was planning to go against. I had to search to see how others felt about it, before concluding how I felt about it on my own terms. On the other side of the debate, bisexuals and homosexuals were not speaking up. It was a bit disappointing. I searched in google at the time for people against this term in various ways. Nothing was coming up. Eventually, I entered a phrase where something finally showed up. It was one person. Since then, the site was shutdown but I do remember the words, "Stop using me to declare what you hate." Outside of the site, others said that they have gay friends who use it negatively as well. They also noted that if they were offended by it, they would be as offended. That was a ringing bell to me. Out of friendship, people would take offense to this phrase, however I was willing to bet that, in order to not risk a friendship, homosexuals pretended to not find anything wrong with it. Just like in southern states where African-American's do not show anger towards the word "nigger". There is no need for them to. It would only start trouble, and since they are socially outnumbered, it's very defeating. I get that. I do not agree with it, but I understand it. In time, I did my own thinking from 5th grade and up through high school on many things learned outside of the teacher's word. The first thing I ever heard a homosexual called was "queer," from a kid in the hallway in the 6th grade elementary. Then I heard the word that became mainstream in everything. That word was, "faggot". It was all movies and school hall talk, parent's mouths, and edited into spelling from others in the family. You know the edit-spelling that can go on. "I was talking to, you-know-who and she was standing next that… F-A-G-G-O-T. I was like, lord save me." I'm a movie listener, and what that is, is someone who watches a movie for more than it's genre of comedy, drama, action, and more. I learn small lessons from them that have actually helped in many fashions in life. A movie that teaches many things is the movie, "Victor / Victoria". The quick exchange of: "I can't believe you're queer." "We prefer to be called gay." I saw that on channel 5 under the cable number of 12. I looked up the word, gay as I did many things in "The Nurses Dictionary" that my mom owned. Gay was defined as happy, joyous, full of love and life. I looked up queer and it was defined as odd, off center, obtuse. None of that made sense to me. As I got older, I began to hear the new term of "homo". I was in 9th grade at this time and though I had lost that dictionary for a few years, I didn't look much up anywhere else. What I had was printed in 1969, and I didn't trust new editions of the dictionaries. AT THE TIME, I felt that they were wimps for changing their meanings to suit the feelings of others. I found The Nurses Dictionary near the end of my 9th grade year and looked at it from time to time over the summer. I looked up "homo" but it wasn't in there. "Homosexual" was and it was defined as one who has sex with the same gender. A person who does not like normal sex partners. I also looked up the word, "Black." I originally wanted to see if it would say if it were a shade or a color. The Nurses Dictionary defined "black" as being dark, evil, negro, nigger, the color of a crayon, ignorant. I must say that, that lead up to a messed up joke I made in 10th grade science class. I'll not go into that here. I had my thoughts on the whole homosexual debate about if it's a choice, is it by birth, is it an influence, and more. I broke it all down to common sense. Traditional parents of man and woman have a child and that child sees them hug and show proper affection, and still that child would rather be with someone of the same sex. It wasn't home life doing it. Children growing up in school hearing how others hate homosexuals and at times, even witnessing how homosexuals are chastised and even killed, and yet the child still would rather be with someone of the same sex. Means that it's not environmental. Hearing of people who are TRAINED to be straight, and make a life with someone of the opposite sex, eventually come out of the closet; even after having kids. It might be by birth. I thought about all of the things I heard and at times saw homosexuals and those who befriended them go through and I found it wrong, unless that homosexual was a jerk. Personally, I deemed any homosexual person a jerk when they were mean to me when I would go out of my way to be kind to them. There was no debate about homosexuality to me. It was just obvious in my eyes. Homosexuals are no different than Heterosexuals. I admit there are kinds of homosexuality that I hate, just as heterosexuality. The big secret that everyone seems to fear, is that both sides are exactly the same. I will not go into that here. I personally watched movies, witnessed vile acts and words against homosexuals and to see everything that they have gone through just to be treated as a human being has improved me as a person in tolerance and understanding about many things I may come across in life. The phrase, "that's so gay" in terms of something being unfavorable is a direct message to homosexuals that they are not welcomed in any aspect of life. I know that most will not understand why I say that, even after all that I've written, but let me explain it this way. Let's remove race, creed, color, religion, and more from you. Yes, YOU. The only thing you have is your immediate family, and of course yourself. Just imagine that your last name is used by people as a symbol of negativity. When you see something broken down on the side of the road, it is stamped with your last name with the suffix "-ed" on it. You might find it funny for now, but how long will you hold out until you can't stand it? How long will it last until you want people to just drop it? If you think that this is nothing, then try it. Form a group to use your last name to represent something stupid, unwanted, crazy, broken, or unfair. Have it done for a week or two and see how it feels. I can assure you, that even if it ends, some people will keep it going, and that is when your suffering will truly begin. In closing, I must say that the word "gay" was created for joy, and soon, symbolized a homosexual. After people realized that the word was kind, they used other words to hurt what they believed was an evil way to be. Now, while homosexuality is being guarded by laws and more, people are still shoveling their hate by creating this passive way of calling unwanted things, "gay" as if it's ok. I want the people to know that by calling unfavorable things gay, you propagate the hate for it that cannot be physically shown, and you make yourself look bad in the process, considering you'll never understand what homosexuals have gone through thus far. Finally, my last words on this page will be in the form of a question. |